I was going insane. Actually insane.
I don’t think there are many greater tortures than that of endless nights of next to zero sleep. I always remember thinking on days when I was working and had a rough night’s sleep that it would be preferable to have a hangover.
This, though, was much worse.
I wasn’t struggling with my sleep and heading to work; I was dragging my carcass along, day after day, on two hours’ sleep as a single mum of a beautiful newborn baby.
A single mum who had lost both of her parents to alcohol abuse, then…
The more I learn about myself, the more I’m impressed, and quite frankly, blown away with how I’ve been able to survive.
At 15, my mum looked at me, silently hinting for an answer to the question regarding switching my dad’s life support off. He’d been battling alcohol addiction for as long as I can remember. (I remember being in the booster seat, I must have been 2 or 3, and my dad pouring himself a vodka in the passenger seat, on his way to the heliport).
Of course, this would weigh even heavier on my shoulders, given that a…
It’s an unpopular concept; the idea that depression is something you could work really hard to stay stuck in — especially with it being such a widespread problem — But for me, I kind of do, so, hear me out.
I’m in the baby stages of launching my new business, why would depression come knocking?
They’re uncomfortable comfort for me; a place I’m familiar with; a place where, formerly, I’d be classed as socially acceptable and not a nuisance.
For a very long time, I was punished, criticized, and advised to lower my standards by people I loved. To be…
Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could just buy a simple formula and magically all of our woes would disappear? Wouldn’t it just.
With the digital marketplace in full swing thanks to the current pandemic, the webspace is packed to the brim with Coaches and Programs offering us the solutions to every problem we could dare to imagine up. There are some brilliant super-knowledgeable ones; for every one of those, there are many more sketchy ones — the sketchy one’s generally got by on being gifted Copywriters or Salespeople, with their gift of the gab.
The sad thing about that…
Online dating is one hundred percent what you make of it. You find what you’re looking for, so if you’re convinced that you’re digging through yesterday’s trash that’s what you’re going to pick up on.
Now now, I’m not saying people are trash; I am, however, noticing that there’s a lot of patterns that regurgitate themselves on the platforms that make my toes curl; not in a good way.
As a recovering codependent I’ve dated some of the worst offenders for narcissistic-bordering-sociopathic behavior because it reminded me of home. I was also taught to perpetually lower my standard and boundaries…
I’m not entirely sure how to open here… I’ve long promised a blog detailing my single pregnancy journey to end up being too busy; though it has to be said I do enjoy writing and blogging. However, it’s been easy to push aside; feeling a bit of a task when so much else has been going on.
Like when you fall unexpectedly pregnant for instance, maybe.
I guess I’ll start by letting you know who I am; my life journey so to speak; to set the scene. Then everything else will make sense.
My journey in my single pregnancy, how…
I found myself pretty bored of eating the same things pretty quickly into the lockdown… Anyone else?… I thought so… Not going out for dinner with friends saves plenty of money, without fresh ideas, food can get a little dull in the doldrums. I set out to experiment and came up with this yummy hot, sweet & smoky chicken recipe and wanted to share it with you.
400g evenly chopped chicken Generous
1tbsp Hot smoked paprika
Generous 1tsp Cinnamon
1 tsp Garlic powder
A sexy 1tbsp Parsley
1tbsp Coconut sugar
2tbsp Light Soy sauce
Preheat the non-stick pan on a…
Like all writing, when it’s forced it just doesn't feel right; it doesn’t read right, and certainly couldn’t be spoken through a thick fog of grief in front of a crowd. I was determined to do my mum’s eulogy after all the many hours I’d spend phoning her up, multiple times a day when I lived in London and she was back home in Aberdeen.
The apparent strong, independent one; I clung to my mum from a safe distance while she lost herself in addiction. I couldn’t bear to watch her drowning. …
C-PTSD has been a big part of my life, along with it the unwelcome visitor — worry. I’ve spent a lot of time worrying instead of living. When I was travelling with my little girl in January and COVID19 hit the news, I knew I’d have to go warrior versus worrier to finish our travels. I’m trying to learn how to apply this more often.
A lot of my healing has come through self-learning and experimentations with therapy methods in between waiting times to get therapists.
Not something I’d suggest you do unless you have the right support; I’m very…
Lockdown activities left me swiping on Tinder, stumbling across a fake profile, using pictures of a guy I once knew from my competing days in bikini figure competitions… he didn’t do bikini, just in case you wondered.
I properly fancied this guy; but when I actually met him, I found out that I didn’t really. Not that he wasn’t attractive, there just wasn’t that spark.
Whoah Amanda, blow us away with an amazing story… Sorry.
Anyway, it doesn't matter, this story isn’t about him anyway. I couldn’t find our messages, but in scrolling through my Instagram DMs, what I did…