Spoiler: It didn’t involve lavender, long baths, or eye masks…

Sleeping Girl by Cuncon

I was going insane. Actually insane.

I don’t think there are many greater tortures than that of endless nights of next to zero sleep. I always remember thinking on days when I was working and had a rough night’s sleep that it would be preferable to have a hangover.

This, though, was much worse.

I wasn’t struggling with my sleep and heading to work; I was dragging my carcass along, day after day, on two hours’ sleep as a single mum of a beautiful newborn baby.

A single mum who had lost both of her parents to alcohol abuse, then…

I’m not talking about kissing coworkers either, sorry to disappoint…

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

What happens when you have an ability to pick up skills in near on anything incredibly quickly, often incredibly well? But your body and mind say no to demand?

I have a habit of trying to turn everything I get good at into my career… Yet, I’m often considered, by authority, to be lazy.

An obscure kind of jack of all trades, I have an incredible capacity to become adept at almost anything I turn my hand to if my greater purpose requires the skill. I have my neurodivergence to thank for that. Welcome the complexities of being both autistic…

What happens when it’s just not in your toolkit, to just sit back and let life happen?

Image by Murray Rudd from Pixabay

The more I learn about myself, the more I’m impressed, and quite frankly, blown away with how I’ve been able to survive.

At 15, my mum looked at me, silently hinting for an answer to the question regarding switching my dad’s life support off. He’d been battling alcohol addiction for as long as I can remember. (I remember being in the booster seat, I must have been 2 or 3, and my dad pouring himself a vodka in the passenger seat, on his way to the heliport).

Of course, this would weigh even heavier on my shoulders, given that a…

A ‘Joy Hangover’ led me to realize how hard I’m working to stay stuck.

Photo by Johnson Wang on Unsplash

It’s an unpopular concept; the idea that depression is something you could work really hard to stay stuck in — especially with it being such a widespread problem — But for me, I kind of do, so, hear me out.

I’m in the baby stages of launching my new business, why would depression come knocking?

Depression and Anxiety: My Safe Zones

They’re uncomfortable comfort for me; a place I’m familiar with; a place where, formerly, I’d be classed as socially acceptable and not a nuisance.

For a very long time, I was punished, criticized, and advised to lower my standards by people I loved. To be…

You could save yourself money and time

Photo by Joshua Ness on Unsplash

Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could just buy a simple formula and magically all of our woes would disappear? Wouldn’t it just.

With the digital marketplace in full swing thanks to the current pandemic, the webspace is packed to the brim with Coaches and Programs offering us the solutions to every problem we could dare to imagine up. There are some brilliant super-knowledgeable ones; for every one of those, there are many more sketchy ones — the sketchy one’s generally got by on being gifted Copywriters or Salespeople, with their gift of the gab.

Chances are, you’ve been burned by more than one of these; that’s ok.

The sad thing about that…

What if you could write what you really wanted to say on your Tinder profile?

Photo by Belinda Fewings on Unsplash

Online dating is one hundred percent what you make of it. You find what you’re looking for, so if you’re convinced that you’re digging through yesterday’s trash that’s what you’re going to pick up on.

Now now, I’m not saying people are trash; I am, however, noticing that there’s a lot of patterns that regurgitate themselves on the platforms that make my toes curl; not in a good way.

As a recovering codependent I’ve dated some of the worst offenders for narcissistic-bordering-sociopathic behavior because it reminded me of home. I was also taught to perpetually lower my standard and boundaries…

My single pregnancy came as a plot twist in an already mad story, what would this mean for my future?

Picture by Author Amanda Jayne O’Hare

I’m not entirely sure how to open here… I’ve long promised a blog detailing my single pregnancy journey to end up being too busy; though it has to be said I do enjoy writing and blogging. However, it’s been easy to push aside; feeling a bit of a task when so much else has been going on.

Like when you fall unexpectedly pregnant for instance, maybe.

I guess I’ll start by letting you know who I am; my life journey so to speak; to set the scene. Then everything else will make sense.

My journey in my single pregnancy, how…

I was looking for a new chicken recipe and this happened as a happy accident… The lockdown has it’s perks!

Photo Credit Amanda Jayne O’Hare

I found myself pretty bored of eating the same things pretty quickly into the lockdown… Anyone else?… I thought so… Not going out for dinner with friends saves plenty of money, without fresh ideas, food can get a little dull in the doldrums. I set out to experiment and came up with this yummy hot, sweet & smoky chicken recipe and wanted to share it with you.

This Hot, Sweet, Smoky Chicken Recipe Serves 2–3


400g evenly chopped chicken Generous

1tbsp Hot smoked paprika

Generous 1tsp Cinnamon

1 tsp Garlic powder

A sexy 1tbsp Parsley

1tbsp Coconut sugar

2tbsp Light Soy sauce

The Main Event

Preheat the non-stick pan on a…

It came to me when I let go…

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Like all writing, when it’s forced it just doesn't feel right; it doesn’t read right, and certainly couldn’t be spoken through a thick fog of grief in front of a crowd. I was determined to do my mum’s eulogy after all the many hours I’d spend phoning her up, multiple times a day when I lived in London and she was back home in Aberdeen.

The apparent strong, independent one; I clung to my mum from a safe distance while she lost herself in addiction. I couldn’t bear to watch her drowning. …

Picking Up Self Love, and Leaving Self Judgement at the Door

Photo by Tengyart on Unsplash

C-PTSD has been a big part of my life, along with it the unwelcome visitor — worry. I’ve spent a lot of time worrying instead of living. When I was travelling with my little girl in January and COVID19 hit the news, I knew I’d have to go warrior versus worrier to finish our travels. I’m trying to learn how to apply this more often.

A lot of my healing has come through self-learning and experimentations with therapy methods in between waiting times to get therapists.

Not something I’d suggest you do unless you have the right support; I’m very…

Amanda Jayne O'Hare

Solo mum from pregnancy; Personal Trainer of over a decade; C-PTSD warrior and Podcaster who loves to write out loud… www.strongmamamoves.com

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