All that I highlighted of this I had to begin to learn two years ago, not of a partner but of my family. The emotionally abused and abandoned me in post partum depression as a single newborn mum fresh out of the neonatal unit; both my parents had already died and left me the scars that come with being an adult child of alcoholics.

I was financially abused for my silence and acceptance of treatment, when I’d ask for company I’d be given money and labelled ungrateful and toxic for asking for love and belonging.

I’d be told I was alone because I was hard to love; threatened and called a snake when I wouldn’t lie that they weren’t around and told of the abuse where I’d been unfed while still breastfeeding in the house in the middle of nowhere ‘Yes, i did do all those things to you, but that’s not me, you deserved it’

I’d been conditioned to believe they still loved me. That’s not love.

Thankfully I’m healing now, it’s a long road.

Thank you for this piece.

Solo mum from pregnancy; Personal Trainer of over a decade; C-PTSD warrior and Podcaster who loves to write out loud…